Timmy @ 2

While on holiday in America,Timmy's babysitter Sabina was telling a flashback Timmy story.  I had forgot all about it.  Now I have my blog to remember.

It was early in the morning, the day after Halloween.  I had already gone to work (that would be about 5:30am to miss the traffic in Northern VA, yuck) and Sabina,who graciouslly came over the house in the dark,was sleeping on the couch when the doorbell rang.  Our neighbor Nancy, who lived across the street, was standing there with Timmy and asked; "Do you want this?"

Nancy explained how she also woke to a doorbell and a little boy with his hand held out saying; "Candy, Candy!"

We knew then that there was something about Timmy.

Ramblings from an 8 year old

Just got back from a holiday in the America.  Lots of recorded Timmy stories. 

TIMMY SAID;

1. "Santa Claus is real but the Simpsons aren't real because there are no yellow people.  There are black and white people and tan people, which are like white people."
2. "Pasta and pizza baby!" A phrase said over and over again throughout the whole holiday with conviction.)
3. "Do you know where I came from?"
   What he asked the father of the kid he had been playing with all day while at Stone Harbor beach in NJ.
4. "Holy Camole, Holy Camole!  Shouting from the top of his lungs while running in the house to inform everyone of the big shark caught by his Uncle Curry.
5. "Mrs Smith is my fairy godmother, because she looks after me more than any other teacher."  Mrs Smith was his 1st grade teacher.
6. I overhead a conversation at Splashdown waterpark between Timmy and a little Indian boy wearing a bathing cap covering his turban.  It started with a pointing finger;

Timmy;  "What's that?"
Indian boy;  "Its my religion"
Timmy; "Let me see!"
Indian boy;  "I can't get it wet"
Determined Timmy; "Get on the snake - then show me"  ..snake was floating in the middle of the pool.
Indian boy; "I can't show it to anyone"  ...yeah that finally satisfied Timmy's curiosities.

Before and After

All those years since he was two I kept waiting for our Timmy to just grow out of it. I'm not sure I can explain but I felt I always had to;

• follow him around like a two year old to make sure he was understood
• guide him to a more appropriate way to handle a situation
• intervene quickly before a catastophe happens
• make sure other kids were not taking advantage of him
• make sure he wasn't doing too risky a feat

The it we found out was ADHD.  Now Timmy has been on medication for a whole month. It would be great to have an assessment from the school teacher on a before/after but unfortunetly the teacher became very ill the week after he started medication and has not returned. He had a couple of different teachers during those weeks. One of the relief teachers said he was doing good. Not sure what that meant but I do know that I didn't receive any school calls so I guess I can assume all is good.

It would be nice to have a spot the difference picture -like the ones in those puzzles books where they have the two pictures side by side. 

Picture Before                               Picture After
*Timmys lone desk                         *Timmys desk grouped
   with a masked tape boundary          with the other desks
*Timmy fidgeting in his seat             *Timmy seating still in his seat
*Timmy blurting out whenever         *Timmy raising his hand

 The term is over and he is suppose to be getting a new teacher next term.  So maybe we can start over again. I keep thinking about his lone desk. I would love to go in there and move it into one of those small group of desks and rip the masked tape up from the ground.
             
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1-2-3 Magic

How do you stop those annoying kid behaviours?  You know they can stop screaming in an instant.  You count them thats what you do.

Well there is a right and wrong way to do the 1-2-3 count? Yes, I have been doing it all wrong all these years. I guess you can attribute it to the same outcome as when you played "telephone tag" as a child. You know the game where you have this big long story and tell it to the first person in the circle who tells it to the next, and then the next and final end up with something totally different then when you started.

There is a book the psychologist recommended when trying to sort out Timmy, our recently diagnosed ADHD kid.  Its called 1-2-3 Magic by Thomas W. Phelan, Ph.D.. Can't mess with that. And apparantly there is a whole web site dedicated to it http://www.parentmagic.com/. I'm going to have to check this one out later.

The book states there are two behaviours that you are trying to control (stop and start behaviours). Stop behavours are (teasing, whinning, etc) and start behaviours (clean your room, brush your teeth,etc).

TO STOP A BEHAVIOUR - You must show NO emotions, NO explanation

1. Say; "Stop screaming"
2. If they dont stop say: "Thats 1" say nothing else and give them a second
3. If they continue say; "Thats 2" say nothing else and give them a second
4. Still screaming, say; "Thats 3, you have 5 minutes in ___" 
5. If they dont' go to ___, then say they have additional minutes if they dont' go.

Works perfect if you are consistent and REMEMBER NO EMOTIONS, NO EXPLANATION

You want them to stop and you know they can. Don't give them the control by seeing you scream like them.



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Finally 8

Timmy was excited about his 8th birthday party.  He invited 11 kids for a  party at the bowling alley - Cosmic Bowling with the disco ball, black lights, music and treasure hunt prizes.  He made his own invitations with bowling pins on the front, a shark on the back, and each kids named scrawled on the front. Come Friday, the night before the big day, there were 2 confirmations and 2 declines due to soccer games. I was hoping there will be at least 8 including Timmy since he said there were a couple more soccer kids and the rest said that they would be there. Well a total of three showed up. But with Zach and his friend Bo that made 6 total.  Timmy was oblivious or so it seemed.  He was just happy that it was his birthday, his best friend David was there and he was at the bowling alley.  I just had to relax and calm down and forget about all those parents who didn't RSVP.  I didn't start to relax until Craig suggested that we bowl too. As we bowled with shoes laces and white shirts glowing and the winning of treasure prizes I finally let go of all that anger.  Only to have it resurface later that night with silent sobs for my Timmy.  But he is the better person to not let those kids who missed out on a great time affect him.

Cosmic Bowling - Timmys best friend David bowling

 Timmy selecting Treasure Hunt Card

Zach and Timmy waiting to see if they won a Treasure

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Still My Timmy

Our nearly 8 year old started ADHD meds last week after 3 years of elimination diets, behavioural schemes & omega-3 supplements. These methods help a bit but there was always something that didn't allow him to focus. He was always in 5th gear and loving life but his school work was progressivly lagging and his classmates growing weary. But putting him on meds has given him a new look on school work and he is still our fun loving Timmy.

We have definitely made the right decision which was substantiated by the grin of his teachers face as I picked him up that first nail biting day on meds.


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I Sent my Kid to School Today on Speed

Okay, so that is what they give a kid on ADHD. But it still does not change the fact that he is on speed. I suppose two negatives make a positive.  I felt like there should be drum rolls but instead there were only butterflies in my stomach.
• Did we do the right thing? Will this help him?
• Will this allow him to focus in school? He definitely is getting behind every day.
• Will he have an adverse reaction? He had to take an EKG to make sure his heart was healthy.
• Will he be different and lose that forever smile? Don't want his personality to change only the annoying bits.
• And will I have any new material for my blog? It's been fun writing this blog.
• And on, and on and on. I usually don't worry about things but today was different. I had a whole 7 years worth of worrying about Timmy and his extreme behavior - and now in this one day it could change forever.

So this morning he cooked himself eggs and had an egg sandwich and a 5 mg tablet of Dexamphetamine. We drove to school and before dropping him off I looked into his eyes and asked him how he felt. He told me he had a headache, and then he said his stomach ached. Not making me feel any better, but I told him it was probably the big egg sandwich in his belly. I went into the classroom to observe a bit prior to the school bell. I then heard the famous "TIMMY" coming from one of his classmates. Timmy had picked up two koalas that were under the classroom gum tree and was attempting to put them in the tree. I guess the "TIMMY" caller was the owner of the koalas. Timmy very nicely said you can put one in the tree and I'll put the other one in the tree. The kid just grabbed the two stuffed animals, with no dramas from Timmy.

• Hopefully the standard "TIMMY" yell will be less.
• Maybe his lone desk with the masked tape boundary will migrate to one of the desk groups.
• He definitely needs to catch up on his school work.
• Can do without those monthly school meeting on Timmy’s behavior.
I kept thinking about him all day long, wondering whether the blinking message light on my phone was the school calling. I picked him up from his classroom and he was running out with the rest of the kids - seemed normal.

I looked into his eyes and asked him how his day went.
He said; "Great"
I asked him if he got put into the thinking chair.
He said; "No"
Then he paused and was thinking hard by the look on his face and said well.....I did get into a fight at lunch, but he was fighting ME! Then out comes the teacher with a big grin on her face - must have been a good day. She said he did great, sat when he was supposed to sit, and raised his hand. She said it was if Timmy wasn't even there. I think she meant that the elephant in the room wasn't there. She said she noticed the drug wore off a bit towards the middle of the day and Timmy became bit louder. I was even pulled aside from the vice principal who told me how wonderful Timmy was in music and art class.

I can't wait to observe him this weekend.


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